I have thought a lot about how I am going to keep growing as an intercultural communicator. I work at a YMCA and it is a very diverse. I work with people of all ethnic backgrounds. I know in the past when someone has come to the YMCA to work out and drop off their child in child care, I always assumed that they spoke English. Many of the parents use their children as translators. I need to realize that when I speak to someone I should not assume they speak English, like they have always lived in the United States. I know now I need to speak clearly when speaking with people that may not know English as well, but not to speak ungrammatically and slow because that can be condescending.
Once at the YMCA I went to find a mother, I was really out of breath when I came to see her and I was talking really fast. She had to ask me to slow down and then called her son over to translate, after she heard what I had to say from her sons ears she laughed and said its okay. I run into situations like this a lot where I work and I always feel so embarrassed that I just assumed someone would be able to understand me.
I have also found working with many ethnicities, that people don't use the same body language as Americans. Many people come to the United States and they experience culture shock. They don't understand why we may look at them in the eyes or smile at them when they walk past. I have learned to not judge someone if they seem uncomfortable with something and give that person space.
I have often judged people from other counties when they bring their child to our care because their child has a name that I am unable to pronounce. Their parent also tells me their name and doesn't spell, so I feel they are assuming I know how to spell that name. I will now try hard to ask for the spelling of the name, and hopefully after a few times of meeting that child I can remember how to say it.
I want to be able to live a life that does not judge other cultures, it is not up to me to judge how someone else lives their life. I have never been one to judge others for their lifestyle or where they are from but I would like to live that way and try to understand other cultures. I can do this by not assuming they speak English and understand American body language. I will also try to remember names of people and learn about their culture.
What is one way you be a better intercultural communicator?
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Activity #11 What's the conflict?
When I was reading this assignment I immediately thought of an episode of The Office called "Did I stutter?" The Office is a show about a paper company called Dunder Mifflin. The show is all about the office and co workers interacting. In this particular episode the white boss, Michael and Stanley the African American sales rep. get into a conflict. Michael had called a staff meeting and Stanley always sits in the back and does his crossword always ignoring Michael. Michael asks Stanley to put down his cross word, he says,"no." Then Michael responds with, "Stanley, come on we are trying brainstorm here." Stanley then says, "Leave me alone dammit." Michael continues to ask him and Stanley says, "Did I stutter?" Michael is very embarrassed and tries to make it look like they were just kidding around to the human resource man (Toby). Toby wants Stanley to apologize to Michael but he says he won't apologize. Michael then asks another African American man at the office what he should do. He does not give Michael good advice. After a little while Michael pretends to fire Stanley so he would apologize but he ends up yelling at Michael. Michael tells everyone in the office to leave and Michael and Stanley admits to Michael that he has no respect for Michael. Michael and Stanley come to the conclusion that he doesn't have to like him but he has to show him respect in the office.
I think the major conflict issues are that Stanley doesn't have any respect for his boss. He doesn't like his boss and they do not see eye to eye on things. Michael needs respect from his co workers because if one shows disrespect then the others will too. The style of conflict is compromising style. The two parties have to talk to agree to something where they both give something up. Michael and Stanley talk about their disagreement and decide that although Stanley doesn't agree with Michael he needs to show him respect. There is also a affective conflict where the two parties agree to disagree. When Stanley and Michael talked things over they both knew they did not agree and talked about how to fix that.
The two parties did resolve their differences. Michael and Stanley both talked things over and came to a resolution. I don't think that this conflict ever had to happen because a person needs to have a certain respect for their boss, many people don't like their bosses but they never find out because they still have respect for them.
I thought this episode was really interesting because Stanley was upset and told his boss what he thought, he didn't care what his boss thought or any of his co workers. Michael was the one who wanted to play it off as a joke. Michael also tried to get help from another African American man to try to fix the problem, which is stereotypical because why would an African American man and a white man settle conflicts differently.
Do you find that the cultures you observed wanted to handle conflicts differently? How did each side handle the conflict?
I think the major conflict issues are that Stanley doesn't have any respect for his boss. He doesn't like his boss and they do not see eye to eye on things. Michael needs respect from his co workers because if one shows disrespect then the others will too. The style of conflict is compromising style. The two parties have to talk to agree to something where they both give something up. Michael and Stanley talk about their disagreement and decide that although Stanley doesn't agree with Michael he needs to show him respect. There is also a affective conflict where the two parties agree to disagree. When Stanley and Michael talked things over they both knew they did not agree and talked about how to fix that.
The two parties did resolve their differences. Michael and Stanley both talked things over and came to a resolution. I don't think that this conflict ever had to happen because a person needs to have a certain respect for their boss, many people don't like their bosses but they never find out because they still have respect for them.
I thought this episode was really interesting because Stanley was upset and told his boss what he thought, he didn't care what his boss thought or any of his co workers. Michael was the one who wanted to play it off as a joke. Michael also tried to get help from another African American man to try to fix the problem, which is stereotypical because why would an African American man and a white man settle conflicts differently.
Do you find that the cultures you observed wanted to handle conflicts differently? How did each side handle the conflict?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Activity #10 How does your culture view relationships?
I come from a white, American, middle class family and culture.
1. Who do members of your culture consider to be members of their family?
Members of a family are considered to be the immediate family (mom, dad, children), also included in that is step parents and siblings. This culture also thinks of close and long time friends as a part of their family. Relatives are a part of this cultures family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins.
2. What are some roles and responsibilities for specific family members?
Moms are generally thought of as the "homemaker" the ones that take care of the children, cook and clean. Dads are thought of the ones that make the money. Dads go to work everyday and are gone a lot. Children are supposed to go to school and after school go to sports and activities. Children are supposed to be well behaved.
3. Are members encouraged to stay in the same house/area as their family after adolescence?
The family usually wants their adolescence to stay close but if the opportunity arises to the person to study abroad or get into a good school then the family is usually happy for them.
4. What are the cultural norms and taboos regarding dating and meeting people of whom to become romantically involved?
When someone meets a new person to become romantically involved, everyone wants to meet that person and give you their two sense. People are really involved in others romantic relationships and want to know how things are going. When a teenage girl goes out with a boy usually the family wants to meet the boy first. A taboo is when people go to fast with someone they just met, like eloping or moving in together right away. Another taboo would be getting married really young, people always have something to say about that. Also, having a child when they are not married is taboo.
5. How are marriage proposals conducted in your culture?
Marriage proposals are done by the man asking the woman's father for their permission. When and if the father says yes then the man will kneel down on one knee and ask the woman to marry him, while showing her the ring.
6. What is a typical wedding like?
Weddings are usually done by the woman wearing a white dress and walking down the aisle with her father. The weddings are done in a church with the grooms family on one side and the brides family on the other. The couple is married by a pastor and they say their vows. The wedding ends with the couple kissing. After the wedding everyone goes to a reception where there is a dance and dinner. After the reception the couple leaves for their honeymoon.
7. How do members of the culture view divorce?
Members of my culture are used to divorce. It is not wanted but it happens a lot. When divorce happens people get really nervous for the children and hope they are doing well.
8. If a divorce occurs, what are the rights of each partner?
When a divorce occurs usually the mother has full custody and the child can see their father every other weekend and one day a week. The child also sees their father every other holiday. The father has to pay child support to the mother. Many times the couple is going back to court a lot to change rules.
9. What is the general opinion of the culture towards homosexuality?
When someone is a homosexual many people have different responses. The young generations are usually okay with it and could care less about someones sexuality. The older generations are much more against it. They don't think they should be married and that it is against the Bible.
10. How are the general perspectives of this culture the same/different from yours regarding gender roles?
This culture thinks women are usually the "homemakers" and the ones that take care of the children. I don't want to stay home with my children when I am an adult, I really like to work and since I will be a teacher I will have summers off to spend with my family. I think there are all types of families and it doesn't matter who stays home, or who works as long as the children are being loved and cared for.
This was a little hard for me to answer because my family is a part of this culture but we do things a little differently. The hardest one for me was question #4 about dating. It was difficult because my parents didn't do everything by the book in that way.
What question was hardest for you to answer? Did it clash with the way your own family does things?
1. Who do members of your culture consider to be members of their family?
Members of a family are considered to be the immediate family (mom, dad, children), also included in that is step parents and siblings. This culture also thinks of close and long time friends as a part of their family. Relatives are a part of this cultures family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins.
2. What are some roles and responsibilities for specific family members?
Moms are generally thought of as the "homemaker" the ones that take care of the children, cook and clean. Dads are thought of the ones that make the money. Dads go to work everyday and are gone a lot. Children are supposed to go to school and after school go to sports and activities. Children are supposed to be well behaved.
3. Are members encouraged to stay in the same house/area as their family after adolescence?
The family usually wants their adolescence to stay close but if the opportunity arises to the person to study abroad or get into a good school then the family is usually happy for them.
4. What are the cultural norms and taboos regarding dating and meeting people of whom to become romantically involved?
When someone meets a new person to become romantically involved, everyone wants to meet that person and give you their two sense. People are really involved in others romantic relationships and want to know how things are going. When a teenage girl goes out with a boy usually the family wants to meet the boy first. A taboo is when people go to fast with someone they just met, like eloping or moving in together right away. Another taboo would be getting married really young, people always have something to say about that. Also, having a child when they are not married is taboo.
5. How are marriage proposals conducted in your culture?
Marriage proposals are done by the man asking the woman's father for their permission. When and if the father says yes then the man will kneel down on one knee and ask the woman to marry him, while showing her the ring.
6. What is a typical wedding like?
Weddings are usually done by the woman wearing a white dress and walking down the aisle with her father. The weddings are done in a church with the grooms family on one side and the brides family on the other. The couple is married by a pastor and they say their vows. The wedding ends with the couple kissing. After the wedding everyone goes to a reception where there is a dance and dinner. After the reception the couple leaves for their honeymoon.
7. How do members of the culture view divorce?
Members of my culture are used to divorce. It is not wanted but it happens a lot. When divorce happens people get really nervous for the children and hope they are doing well.
8. If a divorce occurs, what are the rights of each partner?
When a divorce occurs usually the mother has full custody and the child can see their father every other weekend and one day a week. The child also sees their father every other holiday. The father has to pay child support to the mother. Many times the couple is going back to court a lot to change rules.
9. What is the general opinion of the culture towards homosexuality?
When someone is a homosexual many people have different responses. The young generations are usually okay with it and could care less about someones sexuality. The older generations are much more against it. They don't think they should be married and that it is against the Bible.
10. How are the general perspectives of this culture the same/different from yours regarding gender roles?
This culture thinks women are usually the "homemakers" and the ones that take care of the children. I don't want to stay home with my children when I am an adult, I really like to work and since I will be a teacher I will have summers off to spend with my family. I think there are all types of families and it doesn't matter who stays home, or who works as long as the children are being loved and cared for.
This was a little hard for me to answer because my family is a part of this culture but we do things a little differently. The hardest one for me was question #4 about dating. It was difficult because my parents didn't do everything by the book in that way.
What question was hardest for you to answer? Did it clash with the way your own family does things?
Activity #9 Who are you on TV
One of my favorite TV shows is The Office so I decided to watch that for a couple hours today. I have seen many of the episodes before so I needed to pay close attention. The Office is a fake reality TV show, at times the characters will speak directly to the audience. One episode that I really made a note of when watching was "The Business Trip." It is an episode where The Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in a suburb called Scranton goes on a business trip to Canada. Michael (the boss) starts the show by explaining to his co workers that a select few of them are going on an International business trip to Canada. He then starts to talk about the differences in cultures. Michael says that in some cultures women do not show their face, and in other cultures it is polite to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom. The first is somewhat true in certain cultures but the second is a health risk.
When they leave for the trip to Canada Michael brings two suitcases, one for clothes, and one for souvenirs. All of the men on this trip leave wearing nice suits and long jackets with a scarf. Each man has short hair and two or the three are white, one is Latino. They are flying to Canada and Michael sits in first class, he expects people to wait on him and bring him food. The other two men (Andy and Oscar) are in coach. When they get to the hotel they find out that there is a concierge. Michael explains to the audience that a concierge is like a geisha. The three Americans went to a bar in Canada to try to pick up people. Oscar is gay and since Andy is engaged he spends his time at the bar trying to hook Oscar up. Michael meets up with the concierge and they spend the night together.
When Michael was talking to the concierge at the bar he was speaking to her like she was foreign and she wouldn't understand what he was saying. He kept saying, "How you say...." Obviously this women lives in a culture very similar to the American culture and spoke English so she was able to understand and communicate with Michael.
According to The Office to be American means partying, having a good time, and being carefree. Although these men were on a business trip, there wasn't much business. Americans (according to this show) don't know a lot about other cultures and make a fool of themselves when they are in a different country. American also means having friends that look out for one another, people around to have fun with. I don't think this show accurately portrays American life. I think people know that most people in Canada speak English and have a similar lifestyle to our own. I think when people go on business trips they do a lot more work than was portrayed on this show. I think this show is fun to watch but there could be things changed to make it more accurate.
Do you think most TV shows accurately portray the American lifestyle?
When they leave for the trip to Canada Michael brings two suitcases, one for clothes, and one for souvenirs. All of the men on this trip leave wearing nice suits and long jackets with a scarf. Each man has short hair and two or the three are white, one is Latino. They are flying to Canada and Michael sits in first class, he expects people to wait on him and bring him food. The other two men (Andy and Oscar) are in coach. When they get to the hotel they find out that there is a concierge. Michael explains to the audience that a concierge is like a geisha. The three Americans went to a bar in Canada to try to pick up people. Oscar is gay and since Andy is engaged he spends his time at the bar trying to hook Oscar up. Michael meets up with the concierge and they spend the night together.
When Michael was talking to the concierge at the bar he was speaking to her like she was foreign and she wouldn't understand what he was saying. He kept saying, "How you say...." Obviously this women lives in a culture very similar to the American culture and spoke English so she was able to understand and communicate with Michael.
According to The Office to be American means partying, having a good time, and being carefree. Although these men were on a business trip, there wasn't much business. Americans (according to this show) don't know a lot about other cultures and make a fool of themselves when they are in a different country. American also means having friends that look out for one another, people around to have fun with. I don't think this show accurately portrays American life. I think people know that most people in Canada speak English and have a similar lifestyle to our own. I think when people go on business trips they do a lot more work than was portrayed on this show. I think this show is fun to watch but there could be things changed to make it more accurate.
Do you think most TV shows accurately portray the American lifestyle?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Activity #8 Transition
When I was 19 I moved in with my boyfriend. We lived in an apartment for about a year and a half. When I was 21 we were really broke and couldn't afford our apartment anymore. My parents were giving me more money than they would have liked for rent and they thought it would be best for my boyfriend and I to move in with them. My transition was moving from my own apartment back in with my parents. When I moved back in with my parents there was so much I had to adjust to. I was used to coming home when I pleased and eating when I wanted but it changed when I moved in with them. Although they don't care if I am out all night as long as I'm with my boyfriend. They always want to know what my week looks like and if I am not doing anything, they will find something for me to do.
It was really hard for me to give up the freedom of living on my own. If I don't go to school one day, my parents get really disappointed, even if the class is cancelled. It is hard because when I was living on my own I passed classes and knew when to do certain things but since I live with them they always tell me how to do things and when, even if I already know.
Since living with them I have learned to adjust to not having as much freedom as I would like. I play by their rules. I dream of the day we will be able to have our own apartment again but am also thankful my parents are willing to help us out.
Do you feel moving transitions are harder than most to adjust to? Is it because people get so used to their environment and don't like change?
It was really hard for me to give up the freedom of living on my own. If I don't go to school one day, my parents get really disappointed, even if the class is cancelled. It is hard because when I was living on my own I passed classes and knew when to do certain things but since I live with them they always tell me how to do things and when, even if I already know.
Since living with them I have learned to adjust to not having as much freedom as I would like. I play by their rules. I dream of the day we will be able to have our own apartment again but am also thankful my parents are willing to help us out.
Do you feel moving transitions are harder than most to adjust to? Is it because people get so used to their environment and don't like change?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Activity #7 Nonverbal Communication in Everyday Life
The first activity, keeping eye contact, was much easier than the rest. I started by having a conversation with a good friend of mine. She was sitting on a chair and I was on a couch but they were close together. It was about the middle of our conversation when I decided to keep eye contact with her. I could tell within the first thirty seconds that she was a little uncomfortable and kept looking away for just a second, then looking back at me. I tired hard not to lose her eye contact but when she would look away I would still look at her eyes but couldn't keep contact because of how we were seated. I usually have good eye contact with this friend but I think she was a little nervous that I wouldn't take a break from looking at her.
The second activity was really hard for me. I am so used to keeping eye contact with everyone I speak with that it was difficult. A few minutes later I tried having no eye contact with this same friend, at first it was easy, I looked at the floor and at other people around the room while we were talking. As the conversation went on I wanted to look at her so bad because I felt so awkward that I started laughing after about a minute and a half. I didn't tell her why I was laughing I just kept the conversation going. She just stated laughing with me. After the two minutes were over I waited about 5 minutes and then told her what I was doing. She was surprised and said she kinda noticed but she wasn't really worried about our conversation because there was so much other stuff going on in the room.
The third activity was really awkward. I was talking to my brother on our deck and I kept inching closer and closer to him. He didn't notice at first but after I had been doing it for a little bit he put his hands in front of him and made a weird face. That was when I decided to tell him what I had been doing. He thought it was interesting and he was super confused why I had been getting closer to him because usually I stay far away. I thought this was a really interesting activity because it shows how people need their own space. The second you are in someones "bubble" they get really awkward and uncomfortable. I know if someone did that to me I would probably run away. I am so used to our society giving people personal space, when it does happen you know something is wrong.
How would you react if someone were to try any of these activities on you? Do you think you would notice?
The second activity was really hard for me. I am so used to keeping eye contact with everyone I speak with that it was difficult. A few minutes later I tried having no eye contact with this same friend, at first it was easy, I looked at the floor and at other people around the room while we were talking. As the conversation went on I wanted to look at her so bad because I felt so awkward that I started laughing after about a minute and a half. I didn't tell her why I was laughing I just kept the conversation going. She just stated laughing with me. After the two minutes were over I waited about 5 minutes and then told her what I was doing. She was surprised and said she kinda noticed but she wasn't really worried about our conversation because there was so much other stuff going on in the room.
The third activity was really awkward. I was talking to my brother on our deck and I kept inching closer and closer to him. He didn't notice at first but after I had been doing it for a little bit he put his hands in front of him and made a weird face. That was when I decided to tell him what I had been doing. He thought it was interesting and he was super confused why I had been getting closer to him because usually I stay far away. I thought this was a really interesting activity because it shows how people need their own space. The second you are in someones "bubble" they get really awkward and uncomfortable. I know if someone did that to me I would probably run away. I am so used to our society giving people personal space, when it does happen you know something is wrong.
How would you react if someone were to try any of these activities on you? Do you think you would notice?
Activity #6 Language in the United States
I thought this was a really interesting idea. When I took the first quiz called "American Varieties," I only got one correct. I already knew how some parts of the United States sounded, but this really showed me that you need to listen to someone for more than one sentence before you can assume where they are from. I liked the first quiz but I thought it was difficult to determine where everyone was from. People move all the time throughout the United States and one person cannot assume where they are from by hearing a person speak one sentence. Someone may have a southern accent but live in Maine. This quiz shows that our diverse nation speaks differently all over the country, not one region speaks exactly the same.
The second game "Do you speak American?" was a little easier. Although I only got one right, I was really close on two others. I could hardly understand what people were saying. I had to listen to them each a couple times before I had even a little understanding of what the answer might be. The two answers I was really close to getting right, I was only off by a vowel. That was the purpose of this quiz, to show people use vowels differently in different parts of the United States.
The United States is a very diverse country, one should not assume where someone is from when meeting them for the first time. If someone has an accent they may speak more than one language or have moved from a different part of the U.S. or a different country. People get made fun of because of their accents, that person could be a lot like you but their accent may make it difficult for people to be open minded about relating with that person. I think people have stereotypes when it comes to accents. They are so quick to assume something about someone with an accent instead of getting to know that person for who they are. The U.S. is a very diverse nation people need to be more open to those of different cultures and nationalities.
Which quiz was most difficult for you? Why do you think that one was more difficult?
The second game "Do you speak American?" was a little easier. Although I only got one right, I was really close on two others. I could hardly understand what people were saying. I had to listen to them each a couple times before I had even a little understanding of what the answer might be. The two answers I was really close to getting right, I was only off by a vowel. That was the purpose of this quiz, to show people use vowels differently in different parts of the United States.
The United States is a very diverse country, one should not assume where someone is from when meeting them for the first time. If someone has an accent they may speak more than one language or have moved from a different part of the U.S. or a different country. People get made fun of because of their accents, that person could be a lot like you but their accent may make it difficult for people to be open minded about relating with that person. I think people have stereotypes when it comes to accents. They are so quick to assume something about someone with an accent instead of getting to know that person for who they are. The U.S. is a very diverse nation people need to be more open to those of different cultures and nationalities.
Which quiz was most difficult for you? Why do you think that one was more difficult?
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